What's the point?

I met Andrew, who is the country manager at Wantedly - a recruitment firm from Japan - a few years back at my previous company. He was gracious enough to host my then-class for a company visit, and spent a lot of time coaching one of my company's youth in an internship position there. When he invited me to attend their Inclusive Employment Learning Journey, I knew it was a genuine invite from a genuine person; and since it aligned greatly with my personal vision for more people with special needs to be employed in dignified jobs - I promptly accepted the invite!

The timing for me personally wasn't the best, to be honest. My mum suffered from a fall recently and was admitted for an emergency operation a few days before, and I had tasked myself to bring her lunch on that day. At the hospital, I tried explaining what event I was attending later, which was why I couldn't stay long. To an elderly person, I found it quite difficult to explain what the whole event was about actually (and my mum is already English-speaking and a professional in her own field!).

It got me thinking - what was the point of community networking events? It's not like Mr Trains is financially viable enough now to employ people. Sure, I met the lovely Alistair Ong who was the speaker on that day, and talked to different players in the field - parents, HR consultants, other business owners. But I am not sure what it achieved for me explicitly.

Fast forward 1 week: I attended the Special Needs Ministry Conference 2025 organised by Koinonia Inclusion Network (KIN). This was something close to my heart because it is my strong belief that the Church should be inclusive - more inclusive than any other bodies - in accepting people who are different and disabled. Disability theology has existed for centuries, but it seems most Christians are not closely touched by it.

Again, what did I gain explicitly from it? I didn't get any concrete solutions to my ministry's challenges, nor did I meet any new volunteers to lighten my load. I met a lovely couple of two special needs children - both professionals who are clearly intelligent and capable in their fields - but their intelligence could not replace the heaviness in their hearts when they see their children unaccepted by their peers.

As I am writing and reflecting... a common theme came up. Friendships. Alistair spoke about his experiences in school, how being in a wheelchair meant he could not play games during recess or attend sports day with his peers growing up. He was a shy boy, but peers around him made the effort to invite him to eat together, and hang back beside his wheelchair to talk to him. These made all the difference. And I think about the couple who ache over their children's solitude - social disability seems to carve a bigger hole than physical disability. They would give anything to see their son hang out with friends like an ordinary teenager.

So... friendships. I can't employ anyone now, neither can I befriend every single autistic person in the world. But the past two weeks made me reflect on my relationship with a person in my life, whom I had decided to "cut out" as a friend because of issue-specific complications and tiredness that ensued over a few months. My hardened heart melted a little. After both events, I took a step to reconcile with this person. The change wasn't big or bold, and it didn't impact society in any way. But it was a change. In me.

I must say that I am not a good friend in the general sense of the word. I meet my own friends once or twice a year, and my closest friends are dependent on the season of life I am in. I have maybe 5 close friends whom I catch up with annually from 10 - 15 years ago. Here, I am talking about the "going the extra mile" type of friendship. The type that you know you don't have to do something, but you still do, because you want that person to know you see them, and care for them. It's the type of friendship that opens new possibilities and challenges you to grow as a person. It's not comfortable, it's not in the perfect timing, it's not explicit that you two have anything in common - but it's the type that's worth creating.

So I think this was the point of such events.